You know, I am stepping out of this section and off this site.

You said you "scared your T" -- it appears that most are not seeing that as a problem? The lady said she was scared. ... doesn't that bother you?

Whatever. It bothers me that this forum is so "clicky" that people are afraid to challenge the behaviors of people..even when the T said she was scared and was trying to set boundaries. Telling you that your behavior is ok, when clearly your T was scared is not support, but enabling.

Support is not always patting people on the back, but challenging the behaviors that in this case were wrong... as a few did.

I never said your T would dump you, I don't know your T. I said you scared her...and that you broke trust. Relationships are made on trust and respect. Not secrets, denial, and breaking boundaries.

People choose their behaviors, and instead of choosing an alternative option and later talking about your desire, you choose to continue the behavior that upset your T (googling her house and maps).

Oh, by the way, EVERY relationship has boundaries and each set of boundaries are different depending on the relationship.

And just because someone sets a boundary, does not mean you don't talk about it. A person can set a boundary that says "don't touch me when I am sitting backwards." A perfectly acceptable boundary. Talking about it lets both people understand it --- but the boundary still exists.

And my final statement -- not all boundaries have to be explicitly stated as "This is a boundary!" People stating that doing something scares them or makes them uncomfortable is setting a boundary. If you told your husband that hitting you in the face scared you, that has clearly set a boundary, just as if someone says calling me after 10:00 PM frightens me --- these are implied boundaries.

Life is full of boundaries. How we choose to behave around them is what makes relationships.

Good luck.