thanks so much to all of you, I'm just amazed at the support I've gotten here in my time of desperation. you guys are great! And i know many of you have been where i am too and know what it's like. I need to have some hope.

I'm actually feeling a bit better. Hubby apologized and we talked a bit. My teenage son came home and even though he had no clue of the hell I've been in these last few days, he said some amazing and wise things that just eerily seemed meant for me to hear. I hope i can get some peace from T tomorrow.