((((((( Michah - my fellow boat traveller ))))))))

I don't know if you do hugs... but here's a virtual one anyway.

I so recognise the turmoil in deep confusion it brings the day you find out you've got AS. Denial... doubt... seeking... wondering... investigating... thoughts spinning spinning spinning... More than ever before - the mirror is not a friend. To build up a 'house' all over again with new - but still blurry instructions - from the foundation and up is really taking its woman/man. People say: "You're still the same person you've always been. You're not your diagnosis." Well... of course it's true in a sense... but the difference is - now you're getting to know the person you never really knew to begin with - YOU. Scary business! You see things in yourself you never saw before... you question and you learn with a wrinkled forehead and sometimes tears.

To then on top of it have to explain to the ones near you that - yes you've got AS even if they can't tell. (In my case it's been like that.) Educating yourself as well as others at the very same time is extremely draining.

I really appreciate reading your posts, Michah! They validate my own worries, feelings and daily fights with myself. I'm impressed by your use of words and way of putting your thoughts down on 'paper'. Thank you for your openess! Please, know you can pm me anytime.

/SW