Hey Grizmom,
Sorry you're feeling so low. Hope you're getting enough sleep. You are strong, and a great source of inspiration to many here.
Keep your chin up and know you just have to ride it out - there's a light at the end of the tunnel. This will not last eternally.
I hope you can speak to your pdoc soon and ask for help. I really believe we do not have to experience these immense slumps, and that the correct med combo can make this a whole lot less painful for us.
I'm just a PM or e-mail away - hang in there girl!!