I totally understand this perspective. My ex is a prime example of crossing boundaries, and my T has pointed this out to me numerous times - especially noting that the boundary crossing was for his gain, and that combining that with his pathology is dangerous.

My ex, though, doesn't see that he has an issue with crossing boundaries, or with compulsions, or that it's even disrespectful in any way to me. He simply just doesn't get it...and that's incredibly frustrating.

Which I guess may be a reason why I have such great hope for Rainbow...one, because she's recognizing the behavior...trying to explore what is causing it....trying to deal with it the best way she can...and I also don't see Rainbow's intent as malicious, unlike my ex who is hurtful to me...

Is it still boundary crossing? Perhaps! But also, considering where she is, I see this as progress....