Hello! I usually post in the BPD forum, but I really am concerned about this.

I had to stop hormonal birth control about a month ago. With Lamictal, my female system was not happy. Now everything is normal again.

BF is twice my age...and honestly, I cannot believe that some girl hasn't tried to get knocked up for a huge paycheck. It worries me because I really want kids with him for the right reasons. Thank god we can have fertility help if we need it down the road.

Anyway, barrier methods really irritate me. I'm just watching the calendar and trying to be careful. Anyway, I know this is sensitive stuff, but I'm just not sure who to talk to about it. You guys are so wonderful here.

He doesn't seem worried about taking the risk and says something like, "Well I'm counting on you to let me know" (about when I'm fertile and when I'm not). I keep very good track of it all, but there's 5 sets of fraternal twins in my family, which means that women on my side produce more than one egg a month. So, I sorta get the feeling that planning ovulations isn't really going to help me. I know I'm capable of conceiving (I did when I was 19. Terminated by hospital for risk to me). I don't know if he is.

I've looked into home analysis, but it really just gives you the count and nothing about motility, health, etc. I can't seem to convince him to go get a thourough check-out by a fertility doc. So I really don't know if he's infertile...I think so, but I'm not sure.

Maybe I'm worrying myself over nothing, but I dunno...everything else is fine if a baby were to come along. I have the time, resources and desire to be a Mom. I'm more worried that we're not ready as a couple (9 months into the relationship), and that everyone else would think I did it because he's wealthy. I'm hoping we'll get engaged in the winter - he's hinted of it. Silly thing to be worried about, huh.....?

Then again, who am I kidding...we need to get a move-on if we want to have kids (BF is 50 and I'm 26).

Thoughts appreciated.