Sorry you have such a bad trigger reaction to this! That must be so hard when it's societal convention and not something that can be "fixed". I think though that nouns are both male/female in US, not like with Europe/other countries but probably based on that; don't forget that hurricanes now alternate with male/female names?

I have had "male" cars as well as female (even though I'm female). Somehow I don't think monster cars or trucks are female

I think it's a personal perspective in this country. I don't normally think of objects as other than "it" unless I want to. But sometimes things that have names can feel less scary to me (hurricanes) and less likely to "break" (cars) or hurt me?