Charlotte,

I almost forgot how hard it was, but you're right - it is hard. I don't know how many times when I was your age I almost told somebody that I needed help, but I never could. The first time I went to counseling was when I was 19 and one of my college roommates referred me. In high school people were often making comments about how quiet I was, sometimes "that's okay - I know you are always tired" (no, I was depressed, and maybe tired too) and they would make 'helpful' suggestions about dropping classes and not trying to do so much. But I never managed to tell anyone or ask for help. I was really nervous about it, and also my sister kept sabotaging me if I did start to talk to someone (she would explain that I was just selfish to think that way and ought to know better than that).

A journal is a good thing and can help you. Please know that we understand being scared because we've been through it. If you can try again, I think it would help you. The first time you tell someone is the hardest, and after that it gets better. If you can, find someone you trust. Tell them that you are concerned and think that you are depressed. Being depressed is not the same as being crazy, and it happens to so many more people than you would guess. They won't laugh at you.

No matter what you decide, you are welcome to talk to us here.

Picture us holding your hand if that helps. If you get help now it could be easier to overcome the problems and you will have that much more time to feel good and be happy. Writing down how you feel is one way to make it easier - then if you are nervous all you have to do is show them what you wrote.

Wendy

<font color=green>"Someone may have stolen your dream when it was young and fresh and you were innocent. Anger is natural. Grief is appropriate. Healing is mandatory. Restoration is possible." -Jane Rubietta</font color=green>