I hardly think you are a "jerky person"; jerky people don't admit they have been insensitive let alone realize they have done anything wrong! None of us, whether we are grieving, ill, or healthy, can expect others to tend to our every need. We all have different schedules and lead different lives. It is those that are callous when they know that someone needs support that I have problems with. There is nothing wrong with taking care of one's own needs but there is always time for reaching out to other people. I was my fiance's full-time caregiver before he died and it was important that I took time for myself. I didn't feel jerky about it, in fact it made me a better caregiver.