I think I have been watching so much tv so I dont have to think about how I am feeling and the reception just went out then... wham!

The terror I am feeling about making my move to the Northwest all alone with two dogs and a cat is overwhelming. I am driving in July - summer heat - across the whole country is scary. I dont have much money and I am going there to try to start all over. I dont know the place, I just have to go because where I am, there are no jobs and absolutely no social life.

Coming back here has always been a "net" for me but after being here and dealing with my mother - no, not a good scene - this place is no longer my home. Sadly, Ill only come back after mom passes away because we dont get along.

I am sooo sacred to the point of being paralysed. I want to crawl in a hole.