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Originally Posted by mixedup_emotions
He recommended someone in his office, and one of the hardest parts for me was admitting to the massage therapist that I have serious touch issues....I felt so embarrassed by that. I felt weak and exposed....
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So mixed_emotions was the MT you saw part of the psych practice? How did they workout the billing. My insurance does not cover massage therapy.
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My biggest problem with it, though, was staying in the moment and enjoying the physical sensations. I would tend to let my mind wander to the point where I'm not even feeling the massage, like I escape from it...
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This was a big barrier for me too. Partly because I tend to believe that I am the only one with uneasiness with touch. I feel like if I don't act or respond "correctly" the practioner will KNOW that I have a questionable past. As for the dissociation/disconnection you described, I know this sensation too well. I will say though that I've done the bodywork its gotten A LOT better. I can now stay present, follow the movement and sensation and the person I work with just seems to get when I am starting to struggle and will often slow down the motion and repeat is several times so that I can acclimate to it. I think some of my sensory issues are more related to the ADHD but it then got tangled up with abuse stuff and the trauma cycle started. With the bodywork I've been able to untangle some things...Sorry its hard to explain.
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