Hello all. I thank you for the help in advance. I am 26 years old. Have been dating "Gina" for nearly a year. Gina's previous relationship ended because her boyfriend cheated on her. They were engaged to be married and obviously the news of the cheating really affected Gina in a terrible way. We have a very healthy relationship and we love each other very much and are close in every way. The only major obstacle is however Gina's thoughts nowadays. She will think thoughts about people and just assume they are lying because of what she went through with her ex fiancee's cheating. Most of those thoughts are geared towards me (i.e. if I tell her I'm in the library she'll sometimes think 'is he really in the library? what if he's with someone else?). She knows that I'll never lie to her and God forbid cheat on her (she knows that with 100% certainty), but yet she still thinks them. And after she does think them, it gets her thinking negatively and it will often take hours for her to snap out of this negative spiral of thoughts. She will never tell me her thoughts because she knows they are very irrational thoughts. Here lies the problem: I tell her I don't care and that I'd like to know her thoughts. Gina puts up a wall when she gets negative like this. Like I'll ask her how she is doing and she'll say "I'm good" yet I know there is something wrong and it is entirely frustrating not knowing what the exact problem she has or what she is dealing with. I tell her all the time, I don't mind if she gets sad, that is normal, but I need to know the problem because we need to be honest with each other. If I know she is not fine and all I hear is "I'm good" "I feel fine" it's entirely frustrating. Oftentimes I have to ask over and over again what the problem is until she finally tells me. It's a relief because then I know what I'm dealing with. She tells me all the time to "just drop it" but I know that bottling your thoughts up cannot be healthy. She has the mentality of "I'll get better but I just need time for these thoughts to go away and I need to deal with it myself." But it's NOT healthy and it will take hours, if not a day or two for her to be happy again. I truly would like to just see her happy because she IS a happy person. And I'm perfectly okay when she is sad, but the not knowing why she is sad KILLS me. Also, if I try to help her she tells me I'm making it worse. From a personal standpoint too, it's often frustrating talking and I know she is just not listening because she's thinking negative thoughts. Also, I have battled my own depression and sometimes talking and having "Gina" not really listen to me is tough because I feel like I'm doing something wrong. So my question is, how exactly should I go about the situation? I'm very supportive of her and love her to death but I honestly don't know how to go about helping someone who tells me they really don't need help and things will "just get better." Things do get better, but you either have to pray real hard or actually work at doing something better. FYI this is a long distance relationship (4 hours in distance). Other things to note that may be of help: Gina doesn't have too many friends that live in her area, she feels uncomfortable talking to her problems with anyone (although she'll tell me certain things). I know I have to continue to support her but I'm actually split on acknowledging she has a huge major problem and needs to see a therapist or if it's more like a minor defect and if she changes a few things with the way she thinks she'll get better....Her behavior when she is like this is she'll be very short (all answers are "i'm good" "fine" "okay"), she doesn't really display much emotion. She can pretend she's fine for a little bit which is the hard part, because she doesn't just "shut off" right away after thinking a though but rather she'll think it through and then shut off an hour later. Then I really don't know what the problem is. From a personal standpoint, I'm a very honest person and she knows that. I make it clear to her I'm honest and nothing can be changed on my end (although I'm open to suggestions of course!) Thank you all so much!