I actually know how you feel, to an extent. I've recently recovered from anorexia and I'm finding the weight gain hard to deal with too.
Have you tried exercise? I've decided to use that, myself, as a method to tryyyyy to feel better about my body, but in a HEALTHY way. I think it helps that I do admire athletic bodies so I am now aspiring to be more toned, rather than aspiring to be 'skinny'.
I'm beginning to appreciate my body more, realising all the things I CAN do (walk, for example) that I take for granted.

I think it's important for you to feel well emotionally. It's one thing to get your weight in a safe and healthy place but the mind has to follow. It's just as important to be healthy in your mind as in your body. Are you recieving treatment/therapy? Perhaps working on things like self esteem would make you enjoy yourself more? I'm just assuming that because I know that would help me. I've been in situations in my life that I also "should" have enjoyed, but I felt so bad inside that I didn't. I lived a whole year in the most beautiful city ever, and I couldn't truly appreciate it, I stayed indoors and cried so much and felt so anxious. Whatever your outward situation, you have to feel well INSIDE. And you deserve that!
I don't think there is any shame in saying "I don't know how to be happy/ok" and asking for help. Sometimes we know our lives and our minds need improving but we don't know HOW, and I think it's ok to get guidance from somebody who knows that kind of stuff. In other words, therapy could help... do you have a therapist? Do they help? I just started with a new therapist today and feel pretty inspired that I CAN improve.

I hope you feel better today (seems you posted this yesterday). x