Rainbow, just wanted you to know that I've had the same feelings - I did look up my T's house on Google maps. T lives much to far from me (25 miles of traffic) for a drive by! But, I showed him his house on my phone, he laughed and said "I love Google Earth". I showed him my old house and my current house. Talking about it, making it clear I knew what the boundary is, really helped.

Once, when I was feeling especially immature, and also willing to indulge my immaturity (inner teenager) I drove over to the office on a Sunday. I'd spent a long weekend with my sister and lots of stuff was churning. I sat on the steps and left T a voice mail message. This felt safe.
Then I went to the very excellent garden center down the street