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Originally Posted by Perna
She accused me of deliberately saying I had to go to the bathroom to get out of doing the dishes and she'd angrily do them all while I was in the bathroom and then yell at me for that. LOL, she couldn't have walked away for the 5-10 minutes until I got out of the bathroom to see if I'd do them then? They couldn't have waited half an hour? What was the big deal? I can see that now but back then I'd definitely feel like I'd done something wrong having to go to the bathroom, LOL.
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This made me smile. Sorry I sound as though I'm being really insensitive, what I meant is that this story reminded me of when my sisters and I had to do our chores. Garanteed everytime someone would 'have to' go to the bathroom. None of us ever did need to go but we'd tried our luck! Thinking about it now we could have waited for us all to be ready but I never thought of doing that at the time randomly enough!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tatyana2009
For almost all my life I have been feeling / thinking about myself that I am not good enough. Its strange because I know I am good. I am a good person. I am intelligent. I am caring and supportive. I am pretty. I have few talents. But I still feel I am not good enough. Not intelligent enough. Not good enough. Not loving enough... Also things I do - I have the sense that what I do can always be better. It does not stop me from doing though. Its just this nagging sense. Even when I post - I sometimes feel what I wrote is not 'good enough'. I guess this is linked to having tried to prove myself in prebious relationship (of loving enough etc).
I do not know how to get over this. Any thoughts?? useful advice??
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I feel this way too. For me it is a pervasive sense of not being good enough so it isn't really related to any specific task etc. I don't even have to fail in order to feel it, it is always there in the background even if I feel confident and successful. I think it is related to shame so I don't think that it is as simple as a negative thought that can be counteracted but a deeper fearful feeling of not being worthy, of being a failure as a person (not simply failing at a task). Plus being ashamed in itself feels shameful. I fight really hard to be 'good enough' because I'm so ashamed of not being, and I can't admit to people irl that I feel ashamed because I
should be good enough and if they ever realise that i'm not 'good enough' then what will happen? That scares me. So you get trapped in this never-ending cycle. I'm not sure what advice to offer if that sounds in anyway familiar to you, except if it creates an never-ending cycle then maybe to stop it we need to break the loop somehow? Maybe find someone that will listen to you and work through how you feel? When I was little if I told my parents that I felt stupid they would dimiss it with 'of course you're not stupid you get good grades' or 'you need to be more confident', both of which responses missed the point and wasn't really that helpful! And then I felt more ashamed because I was complaining or should be more confident.
So basically after all my ramblings maybe you could find someone who can listen to you and help build up your self worth?