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Originally Posted by ACanthony1984
Well the thing is, she'll never accuse me of lying or cheating. She'll never ask me things like "Where are you? Who are you with?"
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But she does ask. She simply asks passively. Proof of that is in your next sentence...
Quote:
Originally Posted by ACanthony1984
But I know exactly when she shuts off and I know she is thinking those things in her head.
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She knows that too and she is winning the power struggle. You know she is thinking that and just in case you somehow forget,
Quote:
Originally Posted by ACanthony1984
...she literally just does not talk and gives me one word answers.
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Her paranoia is controlling the relationship. You can still say 'no' when she demands proof if you were at the library (I'm trying to go with this library analogy, work with me). However, since she doesn't ask or confront you directly, you have to say 'no' indirectly as well.
When she shuts down and starts answering your questions with one word answers, stop engaging her! Tell her that you look forward to spending some quality time with her and when she is feeling better to let you know, and that you'll be in the living room reading (or whatever). I know that will be hard, but you said you want to help. Helping will be hard. Fact is, the relationship may not survive this issue, but I think it has the best chance of surviving if you set some firm boundaries around this. You are NOT going to chase her around begging her to talk to you. You are not going to behave as if you are uncomfortable. If she insists on being bad company, you will keep your own company - or even spend some time with other friends (granted that might be hard in a LDR cause you're probably getting together just to see each other).
I came across kind of definitive in that post - let me add, this is my opinion.
