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Old Jun 02, 2010, 04:03 PM
AkAngel AkAngel is offline
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Member Since: Apr 2010
Posts: 348
Quote:
Originally Posted by ACanthony View Post
I appreciate the advice. It is hard, however, because it is a long distance relationship, so all we have is our emails and phone conversations. If she's like that on the phone and i disengage her, then I don't get to talk to her that day.
I know it's hard, my wife and I are in a long distance relationship (630 miles). While I make it up to see her once a week, I know how important that time is. When I'm not up there all we have is the phone.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ACanthony View Post
It's also tough because if we are on the phone, literally everything can be fine and then all of a sudden she'll shut off so it's hard transitioning from being great on the phone to talking to someone who is not talking to you.
Check out what you just said though. Just a moment ago you said, "If she's like that on the phone and i disengage her, then I don't get to talk to her that day." and here you say, "...transitioning from being great on the phone to talking to someone who is not talking to you."

If she's made the transition to being someone who is not talking to you, then you don't get to talk to her anyway - whether you disengage or not. Disengaging seems healthier to me and the outcome is the same - you're not talking anyway.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ACanthony View Post
I hate when I have to say "Is it everything okay? Is there anything wrong? I know something is wrong, just please tell me and if it's something that I won't like I will not be mad at you and we'll work through it together." I hate that line of thinking because honestly it depresses me.
First of all, you don't have to say that. If you hate it - stop doing it. You don't have to and history tells you it doesn't work anyway. The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous gives an apropos definition on insanity which says, "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting different results."

Quote:
Originally Posted by ACanthony View Post
I'm fighting a problem now that I can't help her with and I don't even know what the problem is half the time.
True words spoken there, let that sink in a bit. Look, I know it hurts and I'm sorry for that. I wish you all the best and truly hope you find a solution and happiness...but if you can't find both, I wish you happiness.