There seems to be some assumptions going on that he doesn't live with the op and their son because he doesn't want to. Does anyone know for certain that she wants him to be living with them? I admit, three and a half years and a child together and not living together strikes me as different - but I certainly read nothing to indicate that he wants it that way.

Too, I know that it is not uncommon for people to have crushes on celebrities who they have never had a dalliance with... is there evidence that his crush is a result of spending time with her, or could it have been at a distance from across the store?

Personally, I would need more information to base advice upon except for this... Honest communication is the foundation of all good relationships. Sounds like you two need to talk more or, more effectively.