(((KV SA)))

My Dad comitted suicide when I was 8 years old. It has defined my entire life. I have been where you are too, but like you, I am a mother and even though I was just so tired, so tired of hurting...I just couldn't bring myself to put her through that pain. There simply is no comparable pain like that for a child, I can't even begin to desribe it.

I don't think of what my Dad did as a selfish act anymore....I just think he was so lost in his depression that he saw no other way out...

Please believe me....there are other ways out of the pain (meds for me). If I had done what was in my head (and sometimes still is)..I would have missed out on so much joy!!! Missed out on being a Grandma, missed out on being a good mother...OMG...Looking back....I would have missed out on so many beautiful moments. Yes, it's hard..yes, there is still a lot of pain..yes, I still struggle...but I have to tell myself that when the darkness comes...it's not going to last forever.

Sending you deep understanding and positive thoughts. You are a person of worth and there is a reason you are here. You might not see it now...but maybe you will see it soon.