While on chat today, I dissected my thoughts and realized that I crave intimacy, but am terrified of sex. My desires for intimacy come off as physical desire towards one specific female, and I believe this is because I percieve her to be "safe". I mistrust all guys immensely; while I can be friends with them, it is very difficult for me to be intimate with them. The only reason I can think of that I even have these feelings for this girl is because she's also been a victim/survivor of CSA at the hands of a close family member, thus leading me to believe that she is indeed "safe". Most girls (that I know) however, are no more safe than men are.

Sorry if this doesn't make much sense, I just had to jot this down. I might add more later. Let me know what you think