Hi everyone,

Okay, so I did it. BF got home and we had some nice appetizers/wine. I led up to it with something like: well, whenever you get a chance, there is something I want to talk about...and he said now was a good time. He also told me he had done a lot of thinking about us while he was gone (just 2 days)...I said "Oh yeah?" and he said "Yeah" with a smile. I didn't press. It seemed to be positive.

So I launched into it. He said that he wants to have all genetic testing done (I agree with that) and he also agreed to see the specialist - I'm pretty impressed. He did get a little weirded out, but not as much as I thought. I told him I just didn't want to feel like it would be "my" fault if pregnancy occurred with the rhythm method...he said he's obviously taking that risk if we're relying on that method. Said he was giving his consent by doing it....and while I knew that, I just wanted to talk about it.

So he asked what type of doc he needs to see...and said that if he had to go in a room with a cup, I was coming with. I told him I would gladly, AND I'll totally embarrass myself for him (fun outfit or something...it's the least I can do!) He said next year would be a good time to try for kids. (because I brought up that there may be some problems and if there are problems, it might take many years - I'd like to know now...this paranoia may all be for naught.)

Anyway, he was a lot more receptive than I imagined he would be...not that I got much resolution except he's aware of the risks and said he'll go ahead and go to the dr. In the meantime, withdrawal (and I voiced my concerns about that too...I got pregnant that way when I was 19 from doing that....).

So, that's that. I sorta got my answers, but it's sorta what I already thought.

Oy! =P I am happy we talked about it. I told him afterward that it was uncomfortable for me...and that if I didn't care enough, I wouldn't have bothered having the convo. He seemed to understand.

Sorry if that doesn't make a lot of sense...I'm trying to remember everything from the convo. I don't think I did that great of a job with the convo, but I tried.

(At first, I did get the "Can you not have these conversations before (what's going on this weekend), please? You know I need my head clear." and I was thinking "there's always a (thing) going on!". (Meaning, there's never a good time to talk about it) So I dropped it...and maybe because I did, he went ahead and opened the can of worms. Hopefully he understood how anxious it was making me (even in daily choices...I didn't know I was pregnant before until 2 months in. Had period and everything.)

So I got all of the barriers I expected, but by not pushing, he did talk about it. So that's good.

Ugh. I guess that conversation got to him...woke up just now to find him on the FLOOR of the kitchen...totally passed out. I've never seen him do that...not even in Vegas. I guess it rattled him and he kept pounding back the beer. Now I'm sitting up listening to him breathe and cough to make sure he is okay....I would be horrified, except this hasn't ever happened and it was actually kind of funny. I've totally curled up on the floor before =p

Only 3 more hours until daylight and a very long day of packing for this weekend. Wish I could sleep. He's going to be hurting tomorrow...and prob. really grumpy and hungover, so I guess I'd better savor this feeling for a couple of hours.