Can't sleep, but exhausted. I have a doctor appointment today - just an annual check-in with my regular doc so he feels okay about refilling my meds. Still, I don't wanna go.

Family member is getting an MRI tomorrow morning - her brain isn't working well. She was diagnosed with cirrhosis a few months ago. I'm growing weary. Sad the way things are turning out.

I wish we could go back. I'll be 35 this month. I wish we could go back and do it all over again. Maybe we'd get more things right...less wrong. I wish I could've done better. I wish I could've done more, sooner. If only. If only I'd been what you were hoping for...what you wanted. I wish you could've been what I needed. I wish we could've been the family we thought we were. We were so close. So close we nearly touched the reality of it, but it slipped away. Gone forever. Stepping closer and closer to the realization...no happy ending. I'm sorry I only added to the misery. I wish we could go back.