(((((((( Granite ))))))))))) What you are sharing really makes a ton of sense. I am just sorry that you were hurt again and hurt this badly. I don't remember is you have access to her email account, but in this situation, if it were me, I would email here and say just exactly what was on my heart and mind! You have invested too much. And maybe she just needs to see how you feel. Sometimes email can be used to show things we can't yet say in therapy - just as a tool to help us move forward. If nothing else, it may help you get your emotions out there so you don't just terminate without you being able to express your pain.