Hi Orchid, and WELCOME to the forum. I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my Mom as well, and the grief can seem very overwhelming...

All sorts of emotions come into play while grieving, sometimes all at once, so please go easy on yourself = slogging thru this process is not easy and you deserve all of the support and understanding that you can get (and give yourself) right now.

I hope you will keep posting, so that we can try to be a touchstone for you. The holidays can be especially difficult after a major loss like you've had, so having a place to be able to express yourself where you don't feel like you have to 'keep up a strong front' is very helpful.

Very warm regards, Peanut PS: Here is a grief site with a 24 hour chat room (where there are usually always people chatting = even at night and early morning) that I went to a lot after losing my friend for whom I was primary caregiver 2 years ago that you may want to check out also: <A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.groww.com>http://www.groww.com</A>

<font color=blue>HI FROM PEANUT</font color=blue>