Onlymedid - sounds like you really have a nice support network of people who care, around you!
I have often thought of going to hospital, but other than when I was first dx'd, I haven't managed to get myself to book myself in again. It's also so hard when you go thro rapid cycling, as it may just be the next few hours that your are really badly depressed or suicidal.
I hate not being able to explain to people, even my boyfriend, how low serious depression can be. How you can feel suicidal, then things in your life are going ok - there really is no other explanation other than BP wreaking havoc with your head. Today I feel like I've done my chop at work and just want to go home. Just 2 more hours to go - and I've really put the effort in to be productive today - but think I'll try shave an hour or a half off my work time. I didn't take my lunch, so i can even justify it.
Arg, just in a tizz right now.

Please just look after yourself - I too know the guilt one goes through to take a break due to mental exhaustion, as opposed to a "real" physical illness.