granite, I know what it's like to have those abandonment and rejection triggers hit. It's not fun. I'm sorry you SIed last night, but you don't have to add insult to injury by feeling guilty about it. It was a way to cope with your feelings, and it's over now. So no point in beating yourself up over it, ok?

I hope your T will respond to your email. I encourage you to call her today and just ask if you can see her sometime before the 14th, but I also understand how difficult that phone call could be.

please just take care of yourself today. You don't have to hurt yourself. It's ok to love yourself and do things that feel good, ok?