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granite1 · Jun 03, 2010, 11:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by zooropa

granite, I know what it's like to have those abandonment and rejection triggers hit. It's not fun. I'm sorry you SIed last night, but you don't have to add insult to injury by feeling guilty about it. It was a way to cope with your feelings, and it's over now. So no point in beating yourself up over it, ok?

I hope your T will respond to your email. I encourage you to call her today and just ask if you can see her sometime before the 14th, but I also understand how difficult that phone call could be.

please just take care of yourself today. You don't have to hurt yourself. It's ok to love yourself and do things that feel good, ok?

i know calling her isnt an potion at all she has never given me permission to do that.i dont even know if she is gone now to her thing she is going to.i did email her to tell her i wasnt comming anymore but dont even know if she will get thati dont know what her feelings are about any contact i never have at all i really havnt ever been this out of controle in a long long time it really came out of the blue
one thing funny is how i forgot about basic things to calm me.i just took a really hot shower.something i do when i am full of anxiety the feel of the hot water grounds me and i really relax.anyway i took my shower just a bit ago and this relaxed me some.i find it funny this wasnt even an option lastnight or early thismorning.never entered my mind.nothing but SI was thare i forgot any coping skills i have.im not saying i am completely recovered from lastnight but the shower sure relaxed my body some im alittle less numb

do you ever loose track of how to help youself i mean completely?