Granite.... when I lost my temper with T over feelings of abandonment and rejection, and ranted and yelled, she told me the next time i saw her that she thought that was a good session. When she said that I was stunned!!!

By that time I was killing myself with recriiminations for having spoken to her as I had done. But she helped me to see that I have buried my feelings all my life and that the fact that I could come OUT with them (even if at top volume) was not a bad thing. She (and your T also, i am betting) is healthy and well adjusted enough to know that my rage was NOT really about her, and she didn't take it personally at all (and I am betting that neither will yours). Hard hard lessons, deep lessons, but very necessary ones and I think I will find them to be healing ones.

From what you've said at PC it seems that you may be a bit like me, accustomed to keeping things inside until they fester in the darkness. Do you think that you could give yr T another chance? Even if you have to ask a friend to call and make the sooner-than-the-14th appointment for you?
Here this is for your pain and anger, I know it so well