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anderson · Jun 03, 2010, 12:31 PM

For those here it is easy to understand the fact that each alters has its own memoirs and triggers. We live this life there fore it we can not blindly go our marry way and act like they do not exist. For many of us at different times try to pretend that we are just like those around us being just mere singletons. But for those that refuse to accept or have a mental health caregiver that does not accept who and what we are we are at times domed to live in pain and sorrow.
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It is only by claming our past that we can heal and enjoy the moment. In one of the other post by someone else it said one benefit of being a multiply was having the joy of a child. The only way you can have that joy of a child is by healing the pain that binds that child alters. For all the benefits that come with being whom and what we are it still only comes from healing the pain that caused us to be.
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When thinking back on the mental health care giver and others that have hurt us in the past, not all of us could tell you why this person made us feel sick. But each time we say these people an inner knowing told us to stay away from them. The ones that pulled us in where doing their best to protect the whole. Because of how we dealt with abuse others found us to be easy target and gained false power by hurting us knowing that when we went to get help that we were told that we known it could not happen would you like to go to the hospital for a few day to get help. NO thank you we learned that lesson to well.!!!!!
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This person used our need to keep our only surviving child safe from the demons of our past against us by denying that DID/MPD ever existed. Not only that he open the door for more abuse by sitting the example when we first sought help to deal with the alters that took over when the whole was scared. But in the end none of our pain meant anything to this person because he could not treat or help any one that has lived and endure more then he could ever imagine. Because of his position of power and standing he not only condemned me/us to half a life but also our son.
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My/our son is a very sweet boy that has had to live in the shadow of a woman that was publicly ridicule for being different and not of high moral character. I was never allowed to do any thing with him for the simple fact that he would be hazed out of all the things that we tried to do with him. The pain of a parent trying to be apart of her Childs life become too painful to bear at times. We tried so many times to get someone to take guardian ship of him so that we could heal but no one that we trust would do it. Until he turned 151/2 at that time we known state could not send him back to our demons. WE finely went to one we trusted and told him out right either you take him or he is going to state it is time for him to have a life and I/we can no longer bear to live this half life that others are making us live.
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When this person took guardianship of our son we thought that we could move on but the abuse that we had endure the last couple of years caused those within to self harm each time we tried to get another job or even to move from this town. The most pain full part was that we did have a short time with others that accepted us. They spent time with all of us even the Dalmatians. Then we were attacked and hid under our truck the good guys came to our rescue but we had a black out on who put us there. That was when we felt them pull away from us no one would talk to us. That was when we where forced to be surrounded by others but having no in our life to talk to our even felt wanted by. At time we could talk to others but then it was turned against us. So we were caught in the loop of being so lonely that we finely would talk with those that would only hurt us. For about a good year we where condemned to a life of no hope, no future, no family. For our son had now become the son of the town joke. All because other choice to believe in gossip and rumors. Yes there was times that we could still talk but no one wanted to just spend time with us. We finely had to put distance between us and others because the dark soul would come and talk then clam that we did things that we would only do when we where frightened. Each time we went to those that we trusted not to hurt us physical to tell them the truth they would always hurt us by pushing us away. We finely stopped trying and believing in them.
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But even in darkness we had some light we started to go to a new church. Some of the members treated us like the others but their was a few that realized that we where down and broken at first we just sit a chair to afraid to say hi but some of them where willing to allow us to feel safe again. The kicker was that the same person that helped to condemned us to a half life attended this church to when he was in town. This was the first time that anyone ever made him leave us alone. He did turn some against us but the ones that really cared stayed by us and helped us heal.
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As we gain trust the Dalmatians and other started to come out spending one on one time with those there. We known that there was some unrest with our attending based on the stories told by others but we were still welcomed by some and after being so alone for so long those few gave us hope and a chance for a new beginning. We have been so tired we had started to use our walking crutch again. The day that we had the panic attack the Dalmatians had been out enjoying being with the papa and mama bears.
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But the wife of this person knowing that we wanted nothing to do with her tried to corner us the Dalmatians got really scared remembering what her husband told us and ran to a papa bear. For many of those there we had no reason for a panic attack but for those with in her presents cause for other to share what they where so afraid of. After the woman helped calm them down we pulled them inside to protect them form other types of triggers. But that night we found out why we were so afraid of this man and his wife.
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At times we are still scared of what he might be able to do to us. But if it had not been for the few people that on Sunday that sit and talk to us. I/we honest would not know how we came through so much. We may now not be rich with money but the few people that accept us in the irl as well as pc world. We are richer in friendships something we have not had in a very long time.