You know Atreyu - this is completely common for just about everyone. I dont know a single person who hasnt had confusing feelings about a gender, a friend, or what have you at SOME point in their lives.

I know I have had some failed relationship that should have stayed friendships. What happened was because of my abuse, I confused the intense love I had for the FRIEND and FRIENDSHIP - to be romantic love. It can be pretty hard to decipher between the two when you feel so intensely. What ended up happening in the cases i speak of (thankfully few!) is the relationship didnt work - we simply were not well matched romantically.

Now, with that being said - Ive missed out on some relatonships that could probably have been good, simply because i confused those same feelings. There is one guy in particular who is to this day my best friend - if i wasnt with my current partner - I know i would endeavor to be with him and i know he would want to be with me. Heck, sometimes when i fight with my partner i think sneaky "back up plan" thoughts to comfort myself. (i hope thats not cheating via thoughts, lol. I would never cheat, nor leave my current partner for something like that- but i have mega abandonment issues and a back up plan idea can sometimes shut down those fears of being alone).

On any hand, im bisexual myself. I actually fooled around with girls long before boys. I think it was because I felt safer with them. I was abused by both women and men in my childhood - however the abuse involving the woman was short-lived, whereas the abuse by my father lasted over 12 years. I think for that reason I am like you say, more likely to trust a woman over a man.

its really important when we recognize these types of thoughts that you always aknowlede the basis - say to yourself - okay, i feel this way, but its not necessarily true, depending on the person, a woman or a man could be equally untrustworthy or trustworthy. I feel this way because of my past - and investigate just as you are doing.

You should also give yourself plenty of space, time and such to work this out. it doesnt happen overnight. For me, its still there to some degree howver i know how to balance it and that took a long time.

Much love.