Hi and welcome to thi web site, I am very sorry to hear about your loss , it is not something you can just get over.
My stepmom and her sister are both on the verge of dying also from smoking related causes. I live very far awawy from them so it is real hard, just waiting for that call. I wish I could be there fro them, but there is no way I can. It is such a helpless feeling.And you probably felt very helpless also when there is nothing you can do.
Keep posting here, I am a new user also but have found that te people here are great.
Take Care