hi treehouse, yes it seems like that must be what healing is (but don't ask me for sure, i'm not really there myself! )
and maybe it's hard to heal because there's a part of you that's thinking, "oh crap, if i can do this myself, then what do i need my therapist for?" i know i've struggled with that at least. it's ironic that the only other message you left him was to say that you're doing well, so it's almost like you were taking it back last night saying, "wait! no, i'm not doing well, i need you still!"
anyway, just a thought. i'm sure it will be nice to see him again and tell him how you did with the break and the realization of how much progress you've made in the past year. that's something to look forward to.