I feel like I am in a normal mood--not too high, not to low. I laugh and joke, I run errands, I work out some.
But I want to spend as much time as I can in my armchair, my safe place as much as possible, either watching tv or sleeping.
I have lost interest in healthy eating and staying slim.
My OCD forces me to rehash the past 25 years. But those years were filled with shock treatments, multiple hospitalizations, cutting, serious suicide attemps, dangerous behavior, psychotic symptoms...
Rehashing all of this causes me saddness and grief. I think about all the dreams I had as a child that were never fufilled and never will be. I think about how much I have not contributed to the world. I have no children, no brothers or sisters, no neices and nephews. No friends. When my mom dies I'll be all alone.
So What kind of mood am i in?