Kaika, it's great you're able to vent here, that helps me too sometimes.
Sorry to hear the negative thinking is creeping in a little. I can relate a lot with what you said - I do much better when I don't focus on my life (in particular the future), but when I do I begin to really panic and my self esteem is... crushed, I suppose. Constant thoughts of "what am I going to do?" especially related to a job. So... I know some of how you feel.

Sounds great that you enjoy to draw, I bet you're good at it, it's a shame you can't take a pic of some of your art work or scan it in. Maybe sometime in the future you'll be able to do that for us. I'd genuinely like to see your work.

I know you feel (or were feeling?) like a waste of space, but I very much doubt that. You seem like a very interesting person, really creative and open - there will always be a 'use' for that kind of person.
Your social skills on here at least seem fine. Do you have problems talking to people or..? For me my social skills took a dive because I've isolated myself for.. nearly a year... and I feel like I have no idea how to 'chit chat' (plus I hate it). I have no friends here so I've become a bit of a hermit, only hanging around with my mum (and I'm 25!). Perhaps you like me have problems with self esteem? What I mean is, you are probably fine with people but you doubt yourself.

I know how you feel when you say "life overwhelms me". I guess I don't know the answer to that one (I know it wasn't a question), just... keep trying.

I hope today is a good day for you x