My shoulders sag under the weight of this newest episode. It has been about 3 weeks ago that it started. I know that is a short time compared to some of the other posters, but it seems like an eternity nonetheless. I want to crawl out from under this rock that crushes me, squeeze out from between these walls that are closing in. But all I can seem to do is wallow. With all the ills going on in the world all I can do is think about me and my problems. Right now my blessings are curses. I'm irritable to the family I love. I resent waking up to go to the great job I have. My faith is in shambles. But who ever promised me it would be easy? What am I going to do about this? I'm going to my farmhouse this weekend for a short time respite. For a longer term solution I'm seeing my psychiatrist in 2 weeks and I will ask for a med evaluation. I'm going to hunker down and battle, wage the war because I'm a fighter. I've been suffering from depression since I was in middle school 40 years ago, so what is yet another episode other than something to conquer. Put another trophy on the wall because I'm going to beat this one also. I'm stubborn and defiant. I'm a fighter and a survivor. I will control it, it will not control me and I will get thru this. shaggy