It is hard to know what kind of "mood" another person is in going by what they are experiencing. If you feel ok as you said in the beginning, then I wouldn't worry to much about it. But, you could be heading for a depression episode. Make sure you have someone you can talk to about they things you are thinking because if you let all that stuff build up you will slip into depression. And remember, we are always here for you. And I know how you feel about your mother, when she died I felt alone as well. Even though I have a brother and a father, I don't speak to them so it is hard but the days will pass and it will get easier. Don't think about what will happen when she is not around, just enjoy the time that she IS around.