My Heart goes out to you in so many ways~XoXo~
I'm so sorry for your loss.Welcome to our forum,this has become my new home for recovery whitch I have to say everyone is so nice and understanding...this is a site I searched for & finally came about, I hope you keep posting. I lost a GOOD friend of mine 2yrs ago too. which doesn't compare to a mother figure, but I can understand some of your suffering. He also took his very last breaths in front of me and it is something that will stay very vivid in my thoughts forever. I hold him very dear too my heart b/c it has taught me sooo much. everyone grieves diffrently and no one can replace your mother. but remmber God has such a special ANGEL with him now.you need to remmber all of those special moments you shared together and Remmber how much she loved you. You will see her once again when you are reunited in heaven. for now she walks beside you, even though you can not see her. she is there..
I GUIDE YOU IN THE WAY OF WISDOM AND LEAD YOU ALONG STRAIGHT PATHS. WHEN YOU WALK,YOUR STEPS WILL NOT BE HAMPERED;WHEN YOU RUN, YOU WILL NOT STUMBLE.
-PROVERBS 4:11-12

Sorrow can cause us to doubt God's plan. The psalmist cried,"Has his unfailing love vanished forever? Has his promise failed for all time? Has God forgotten to be merciful? Has he in anger withheld his compassion?
(Psalm77:8-9) Though we may face trouble and difficulties,sadnessand pain, God is still in control,and he is always with us...........
Hope to hear from you ! your friend
Duchess