Thanks Guys,

Today I got a text from my Flatmate sayin she needs £500......... I nearly died. I haven't paid Rent £150 for 1 month and I haven't paid Council Tax £350 for 5 months as I have not had any money.

I went to my folks house. I haven't mentioned it until a few hours ago. I started crying and I don't know why. My Mum I think was a bit surprised. She came over to me and we hugged. She said she knew something was wrong with me. We spoke and she asked if I was ok other wise and I said I was. She says she will give me £350 and I will try and manage £150 from my own bank account. If not I will be able to pay it next month as I am obviously back at work. Just when I think I am doing well I always have a crash.

My Mum has suggested more like she wants me to move out my flat and back home with them. I don't want to as I like my freedom as she puts it. She says it would save me so much money and I can pay them rent starting at £20 a week and then when I have more money £50 etc. I owe them roughly about £2,000 since I became ill. I am so crap with money now. My Mum just said I use to be so good with money and even as a kid. She says its just because I have been ill etc. I know this but why is it so hard for me to deal with

I had a Counselling Session the other day. It was going so well and we were talking about a lot of things. My Counsellor asked me "How you feeling about our last session now that the 2nd last one has just finished" I don't know why or where it came from, and I burst into tears. Why????? I was so apologetic to her and said I couldn't believe I was crying in front of her as I have never cried in front of her before. I have been working with her since December. She spoke to me and waited until I calmed down. She was really nice about it all. She has said she wants me to go to her again soon for an extra session to prepare me for leaving her and she wants to know why I feel I can't cope when I leave her and her sessions.

I will need to go to GP's next week and I will talk to her about the Psychiarty meeting. I didn't get anything out of it and like its been said there would be no real info gathered on me as it was only 10 mins.

I feel like an emotional wreck today. I feel like crying all day but have controlled it till tonight