Hi thanks for being kind. My daughter is 31 with 4 children to two fathers - no that;s not being judgemental - its a fact. And a stream of dreadful relationships where she veered from happy to so unhappy it breaks my heart to think of it. I have lent her thousands and also watched her squander a huge inheritance - set her up in 5 houses, provided furniture, bought essentials like cookers etc, bought things for the grandkids that are disposed of before the little ones have had a chance to enjoy them on the grounds that they made a mess/noise or just irritated her etc etc, watched her self medicate on alcohol, dragged her out of pubs, heard about her fights with other women - hair pulling - the lot, been insulted so much that even her friends are apalled and have tried to talk to her about it - but when she crashes - then i am expected to pick up the pieces - big time - leave work, cancel arrangements change my whole life from a to z. and I just can't stand it anymore - not because I hate her but because I am tired, nearly 60 years old with a full time very demanding very stressfull job and it has been going on for years - about 12 - 15. I lose whole weeks of my life - where I rush around trying to do what I can - but I know that it doesn't do any good -not in a permanent sense because in about 3 weeks, or even 2 it will all start again.

She now has an army of medical support - which is excellent, a community pyshiatric nurse (cpn) - social worker etc etc but then I hear from her cpn that 'I do nothing to help' - I arrive at 7 am every morning, I shout at her, I never have the children, I do nothing, I then go again after work, I shout at her again - tell her to clean up the house etc etc, chuck her friends out' - all lies - I feel so betrayed. All her stories have been disproved - not in a nasty way - just an open meeting of all her professionals where I was asked what I did to support her - I only got half way through the first sentence when she got up and walked into the kitchen. I don't care what the professionals thought - there opinion doesn't matter - only keeping her well for as long as possible does. It was what was going on in her head that worried me. 1. She couldn't stand me or 2. She realised that all her stores about me were being disproved. After a couple of sentences - her current partner the father of her two younger children - then joined in and agreed with everything I had said and even added on things I had not mentioned

Yes i know she is ill and yes I know some of things are symtoms of that illness but what concerns me is that she now seems to feel that because she has been diagnosed with Bipolar she feels that this explains it all and she can't be help responsible for anything she does.

Is that really what Bipolar is - whrere 1 person does things and the other people in their life have no choice - they just have to carry on picking up the pieces - that's what I mean about being eaten alive. Add to that the already 2 suicide attempts and I feel I have no choice but to dance to what ever tune is being played.
Yes i sound like a selfish ***** - am I.
I really am a desperate dina.