Quote:
Originally Posted by bluegirl...?
it's just.. i thought i'd finally quit, that i was finally done with it all. But i couldnt do it and i gave in to SI. i didnt even *try* to stop myself. i just walked to my close, found the blade, and went at it.. :P
--bluegirl
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I think it's really important to focus on the times you DID stop yourself and the months that were SI free. I'm not on this part of the forum too much (just as a warning - I'm primarily on other parts because I'm recovering and not wanting to trigger so only go on when 100% safe :P)
From personal experience I can tell you there will be slip ups. But focusing on the slip ups only welcomes more slip ups to happen. Focus on the wonderful times you were FREE of it. Think of how it felt, the triumph in overcoming this. Baby steps, don't be hard on yourself.
"I didn't even *try* to stop it"
For some reason, the will to fight wasn't there. It was a slip. To work on this when you're feeling stable try to go through WHY you were doing this, and then insist to yourself why that reasoning is wrong. It can increase your ability to fight next time. please be careful with this, as it is potentially triggering PLEASE only do it when you are safe, and if you start to slip a bit in your mind/are trigger STOP and practice self care and distraction measures.
take care
