So I wake up early cuz I couldn't sleep anymore cuz I was having crazy dreams&it was annoying. I get up, seem happy, but then here I am watchin tv crying for no apparent reason. The ppl on tv were doin something nice4someone else&I started2think how I'm almost always nicer2my friends than they are2me. I try2go outta my way2do nice things4others but nobody ever does anything nice4me. Isn't that stupid2get upset about?
Mybe I feel like this cuz I have no real friends here anymore. Everyone either moved away or got messed up or had kids&4got bout anybody else in the world. That's another thing making me cry. I have tried4so long2have a kid. Married6yrs, tried the whole time, no baby. Haven't NOT tried since then with my fiance but nothing. Everyone around me is having kids&I'm the only one left behind. In school I did everything1st cuz I was older than my friends, but now even the guy who never dated anybody has a kid&here I am wishing, hoping, PRAYING that mybe this month I won't have my period&I will finally be able2b a mother. I am almost30&at this rate I will be50when my kid graduates. Is that dumb? I'm sitting here bawling cuz I don't have a kid by now, I have no friends here&the friends I have in other places never really contact me. Mybe I'm just supposed2b miserable