Points well taken, Turquoisesea. yeah, i did ask t to help me safety plan. she said we'd do it next week. it does seem t's don't know how to handle these moments. I had one good one on this - when I got urges she had me call, and she'd tell me all sorts of things about her dog. (it sure didn't feel helpful at the time, but it worked). I just have to learn to distract myself, i guess.
Hugs