I'm not sure if I'm asking a question or just putting this out there because it's on my mind so much now. I got my bipolar 1 diagnosis quite recently, but not until after I went through severe mania, severe depression, and a suicide attempt, all for the first time. I'm recovering from multiple injuries (car into tree thing) and I'm seeing both a therapist and a psychatrist. I'm trying so hard to accept all this and move on to a better place in my mind. I know that I have layers of emotions to peel back and go through. I guess the biggest right now is grief for who I was.....for the normalcy of the life I used to have. For my basic identity.....for my intact physical self. I'm so grateful to be alive but much has been permanently altered. My injuries could have been much worse and I know that.....but......

I have to keep reminding myself that I was ill and delusional.

The other issue is feeling defective.....feeling incompetent.....no longer capable of handling much by myself. I know many people get the diagnosis and life goes on the same, or nearly so, but mine can't. I lost my job, my license is suspended (I'm not in a hurry to start driving again) and I no longer feel like me. I'm working with a great therapist who is encouraging me to look at all the positive things I AM accomplishing and, (depending on what day of the week it is,) I know I'm making progress but I have a long way to go.

I'm struggling with this.....it's new and relatively late in life. I'm too much of a positive person to not hope for and expect a good outcome.....but I guess there are no shortcuts to getting there. All the best to anyone who can identify.

greylove