wow, I can relate to this so much it makes my stomach hurt. I know that feeling of needing T, and I know that feeling of being afraid of my feelings. I struggle with this a LOT.

I think it's really brave of you to be able to tell your T how much you need her. I can't even do that. I'm working on being able to self-soothe, and it is SO hard, but it is getting easier, a little bit.

I get overwhelmed with my feelings a lot, and my T says to remember they are just emotions, they can't hurt me. I told her recently when she said that that it doesn't feel true to me, it feels like they CAN hurt me, but she says just wait and watch the way they come and go, like waves. No emotion lasts forever.