I agree with Soul Quake. Additionally, I like a T that does not write the entire time I am with them. My T never takes a note when I am talking...she plays games, has me draw, color or write. It's distractions that end up helping me talk about difficult things. She knows when to push and when not to. Oh, and I like a T that tells me like it is...no sugar coating, I get enough of that from friends and family.
There is not set time frame for getting comfortable with T, it all depends on how you feel with T. For me, it was the first session. She was just so comforting, she listened intently to everything I said.
I know my T cares, just by the way she talks to me, how sensitive she is and that she always gives me a hug at the end of a session.