Thank you all so so so much! All of your replies made me cry... but in a good way, sort of, you know what I mean??
It is so indescribably helpful to know that I am not alone with these feelings. I feel so weird sometimes.

It's so hard to make myself feel better when I just miss my T so much. I try to self-soothe by thinking about things I remember her saying to me or her telling me it's okay, but then I just miss her more. I guess it helps a little because I'd rather feel this connection and pain than just feel nothing, distant, depressed.. but I feel like such a little girl and I just want to curl in a ball on the floor and cry. I'm seeing T Tuesday and it feels like forever and I don't feel like I can make it that long.