I've been reading over old therapy journals and notes from years ago. Hardly anything ever changes regarding what I want from my Ts. Maybe I'm grasping at straws thinking this therapy will be different. I like IFS and maybe I need to give the EMDR another chance, but for some reason I think I may have to just give up therapy and suffer. T says she can help me get my needs met in RL and not need therapy. I don't believe her. Nothing is going to make me not want to be in therapy because I just want to be WITH HER.

I found some letters I wrote "to my Mom" from a previous therapy. I'll bring them to my session. So what? I'm repeating what I've already done in therapy. Over and over.

I don't know if anything happened to me when I was little. I was always wanting something I didn't have. My life turned out pretty well in spite of many disappointments, so I don't know what's wrong with me. Something is, but I don't know what. I want my session so I can tell all this to my T. I feel so discouraged when I think about therapy. I had such high hopes when I started and I don't know what changed.