Solar- This is a very interesting thread. As I read along I agreed strongly with the reponses you got, especially the point that we all come from a certain place when it comes to caring and we see "caring" through the lens of what we have come to believe throughout our lives. I dont beleive it is either or- either they care or they just dont.

Therapists see a lot of people and must take care of themsleves in terms of closeness to their clients. And I think different people/therapists do that in their own way. The boundaries of one therapist might strike us not caring and the boundaries of another therapist might be okay with us. Some may make their caring more obvious, while it may be less obvious with others. And we view their responses to us through those lenses of ours.

I dont think I have had a therapist not care about me, but I can say, during the times I was most needy and felt like I needed more caring, the less I felt like my therapist was giving that to me and it was easy for me to say, "she just doesnt care." It was coming from me. The words and actions of my therapist could trigger different kinds of feelings in me and I might feel like I wanted her caring to be more "obvious" or I wanted/needed her to be more demonstrative. Say this or that in particular to show she cared or even offer a hug.

I guess what I am saying is that this is a GREAT issue to bring up in therapy. How can you believe that a therapist or anyone cares about you? How can you trust people? I dont think its an issue for only you. It is an issue for a lot of us. How do you really believe that you are worth caring about? It is SO MUCH easier to be angry and believe, "Eh, its only her job...no one really cares about me" then to dig deeply into feelings of not being worth caring about or worth being anything more than someone's paycheck or used by someone for their own purposes. What if they care and then I care and then I get hurt? How can I allow myself to be that vulnerable when I have been SO hurt in my life?