Can totally relate! I feel like you're telling my story! You're right, there are no shortcuts, but you're doing all the right things and I'm proud of you. You say your life "can't" go on the same and you're right. However, that just means you can find a new road.

Five years ago, my husband of 13 years left me for my "best friend." I found myself feeling and doing just as you. My life, dreams, job, everything was lost. Ended up moving in with Mom and Dad with my 3 children. I remember staying in bed all day and crying, wanting the nightmare to end. Like you, I'm a positive person, but at that point in my life it was HARD to be positive.

What did I do? Took my medicine, kept my doctors appointments, made myself get out of bed, got a minimum wage job, and take care of my children. Was it easy? NO!! Today, I am happily remarried, enjoying raising my kids, and have great career. I still struggle, but I won't give up!! Never give up, greylove, you can do it!!

For over 20 years, I have battled this illness. The fight with BP is no different than the fight with any other illness or disability. One's attitude can greatly influence how victorious one in their fight. You will be victorious!!!

All the best to you too, greylove!