so my dad unfortunatley passed away in February and I just havn't wanted to talk about it because I mentaly try to block any revivment of him because it still sort of hurts.

A quick history.

2007- Right before christmas my dad leaves for another women and I dont see him until March of 2009.

2009- March ,I see my dad.
Christmas 2009- I find out my dad is termanally ill.

december 26th 2009- I see my dad in hospitol looking entirely different thatn how I remember him due to his illness.

Janurary 2010- Moves back into house with hospice care then later goes to a hospice center.
february 2010- Passes away.

I quickly cleaned up any evidence of him... It was extremely hard for me but I did in tears. Well, its already June and I still feel sort of traumatized by the whole incedent. I htink about it all the time. I basicly obsess over it. Every one else in my fmaily is pretty ok but I;m the one who just can't cope.

Is it abnormal that I am not coping in a certain amount of time. I mean I know every one copes at thier opwn pace but my coping has almost turned into haunting. I mean I blame my self and feel extremely guilty that I didnt see him for such a long time but I know it wasn't my fault. But I just keep thinking Its taking to long to cope. My grandma passed away last november and I still have issues with that.

Sory I don't mean to rant but this is my only place to kind of let it out lol.

What do you think?

Thank's for reading.

roman